✨Obesity is truly a STRUGGLE PT 1✨
Growing up Fat
Cupcakes, Donuts, Cheeseburgers were things I loved but my body hated. For as long as I can recall I have been “the FAT guy”. During that time I faced many challenges between my self-esteem and my health.
As a kid being fat made it hard to fit in. Everyone just wanted to make jokes about me and call me names. My only alternative was to be “BAD”that way no one would “FUCK” with me. Eventually, that led to lots of bad choices, ones that were made only to fit in because I never felt accepted. “You see I never understood why I couldn’t really fit in with the cool kids, or even why when I did they had to crack jokes. Being fat as a kid was the worst time of my life because at that I was building self-hate instead of confidence."
Teenage Years “The mental stage”
As a teen, the hate for myself grew stronger. I dealt with personal issues based on relationships and materials. Clothes were huge and it was hard to wear fitting clothes because of my shape. The thought of losing weight never really went through my head, “maybe because I knew it was going to be hard and hating myself was much easier”. No one made it easy around me, even my so-called friends cracked inside jokes and gave me names like “Fat Boy” and “Fat Ass”. That shit was hard to deal with especially if there were women around. “which most of the time that’s when it happened.” I had to realize they were doing that because they had “personal issues” as well. That was simply their way of battling their issues like being bad was mine. Now I wasn’t a bad looking guy, most of my issues came from “lack of confidence”.
My stomach was huge; t-shirts were worn at swimming pools. “Swimming Pools” Do you know how embarrassing that was? The Struggle was real, and the battle was just beginning.
Two Decades of living “Fat”
As I got older I managed to figure out how to make this “Big Boy”thing work for me. I had confidence on the outside but not much inside. Flaws drove me crazy, especially these rolls and saggy “man boobs”. I used money and a rough lifestyle as my outlet. If I had money then the women would come, and my lifestyle kept the jokes away. It all worked well until my lifestyle began to conflict with the law. Now trying to “Fit in” started to turn into setting myself up for failure. The whole process was frustrating; it was hard not to be around the “In Crowd”. The reason was that everyone was trying to be “IN” so you never knew where you placed.
To Be Continued............